A small service at Kampar

Just yesterday I went to Kampar with Ps.Chan to visit Ps.Nicky. The new church in Kampar is just being planted recently. They started their service recently also. The service & church looks very simple, small. Even the congregation is few. Yet there is something there that really amazed me. Because it's small & new, the students get to do all the jobs, service director, worship leader, technical, etc. They are new, learning & committed (that's what I see). Sometimes I just wonder, how come some people who are "long time" with God still do not wanna take up the challenge & calling to serve God, even in the simplest way, even in a big church where everything is so easy to do & convenient. Are we getting too full of "everyday busy life" that serving God can be done by others who are more free? This somehow speaks to me that once in a while we must throw back the people to their basics & foundations, especially their "first love".

Because it's a small service with just a few (can count by hand) congregations, Ps.Chan decided to lay hand & pray for each & everyone, & lay some prophetic words on them. Well at first only 2 came forward, but after seeing the sweet presence of spirit of God there, more & more came forward.This speaks to me TWO things. Firstly, why must we follow after some other people, watch what happens to them, & only take our steps of faith? Why can't we be the pioneer, the first? If the one we watched failed, are we gonna step back? Move forward.

Secondly, why normally people sought after special speaker's altar call & prayers, feeling that their anointing is very strong, while we don't really look upon our very own church pastors? One of the girl asked Ps.Chan why he knows all her problems when he lay hand on her & prophesies on her? It's simple. The Holy Spirit reveals things. God loves her, & God knows her. That's what makes people normally cry when some speaker who do not know them, can tell their struggles & problems, because they see the power & love of God through the speakers. Imagine your home church pastor laying hand on you, & prophesy on you or telling your life struggle, surely you might think "Of course la...he knows me what..." or "Sure someone go tell him my things one". Are we still like Old Testament Jews who chase after prophets with signs & wonders? Or are we chasing after Jesus Himself  through man of God, our leaders, & The Holy Spirit? How much do we respect, appreciate, believe our God appointed leader & pastors?

I really thank God for this period of times where many leaders approaches me. I learned much more from them as they are experienced people, & they know much more. They had seen the world, had served, & therefore understands what I 'm going through. Their words speaks to me. Even if they don't speak, their presence, care, encouragements to me really lifts me up.

Presence in Silence

What is friend for? One of the common answer is "be there for you". I strongly agree in this.

(all this is based on what I think ok? haha)

When a friend finds me or ask for my "counsel & advice" I always have the idea of instead talking so much  I make them speak more so that I can lengthen the sharing time. For me it's not all about the suggestions or words that I said. It's more to the time & presence for being with him/her at those moments. The actual fact is people already have the answers in their heart. What they want is support & company from friend. Example, when X finds me for sharing his problems, he already know his situation the best. All I can say is based on my experience & standing on this matter. I'm not even in his situation. Am I really qualified to speak for him? NO!. For me it's more about me knowing he is in something, he is facing something, he has something in his mind. My presence with him that matters, just to be there with him. At least someone acknowledge his issue.

Other people's words won't really change a person's decision. It just either encourages or discourages the decision. I do really agree with someone who shares this with me "flip a coin, & before you grab the coin, whatever your hearts want it to be tail or head, that's the desire of your heart, no need to look a the result of the coin". Most of the time people just wanna seek for approval & supports.

It's not really about words spoken. Instead sometimes I found out that during such sessions, there's a need to remain silent once a while to stop talking, & just be still. I found the best moment after all the talking is just be there with him/her...in silence. I'd experienced it. The quality time spent together in silence acknowledging each others presence. Sitting together in car not talking but radio on, or watch midnight sky, or stars, or watching cars travel left right on main road, or just silence in classroom looking at each other smiling without words spoken, or a pat on shoulder & nothing else after that, etc. It creates a better effect than fully talking about the issue.

Remain silent with each other after talking, take time to just rest & don't dwell in the issue. What matters is that friend is there with you. The action & love of a friend speaks even better to comfort the person than words of advice. Just spend time, for time is a irreplaceable asset for anyone, most valuable of all things that I can share with others. This is love.

Isn't it the same with God? How to treat God as best friend?

I found out also that instead of telling God & complaining to Him all my issues, I should just rest in silence with His presence. I do not to speak so much, He already knows what I'm facing. He cares for me, this I know. He loves me, also I know. By knowing all this, it's better to just let His love comfort me instead of releasing all things hoping for some "revelations" to comfort me.

Instead of waiting for some vision or dream or voice to tell me what should I do, I should focus on the Truth that He is Immanuel. I never get any specific "what-to-do-guide" from God but I only get His promises reminding me of His faithfulness & love to me. Which is better? A one time solution for a problem, or an everlasting eternal presence of the Almighty One? The next time I approach God I will come with heart to just be in His presence in silence, not with the intention to carry "petition of requests & complains" to Him.

You picked me up when I fall

Related to my previous post....


Last week, I signed up & commit myself to a 1 week prayer. At first I was thinking..."Can I really pray 2 hours continuously?". & In the end I did, 2 hours was easy when I really learned to delight in His presence. I do not know if I can try again but for me, when the "prayer atmosphere" is good I really have n problem in prolonged prayers. I sense that God wanna deliver something to me thru this week of prayer also & I told God I WANNA SEE something happen by the end of the prayer week. I expect something to happen to me.

Halfway I start to have some funny frustrations, disappointments, etc (refer to my previous blog). Then one of my friend reminded me one things which she told me last time that she sees character & charisma in me, that God will be with me in leading. She reminded me out of sudden just before I meet my pastor. She said Holy Spirit tells her to let me know. How could I forget that last time? Haha...thanks for the reminder. After my reflection, my pastor called me to accompany him for prayer. I went & he shared things which really hits me & answers all my previous blog post "reflections". It was when all those got cleared.

His sharing really lifted me up & I know actually my leaders take notice on me & what I did. Maybe being human, recognition & acknowledgment really encourages me even a very simple one. We talked about openness, expectation, frustration, hope & some other stuffs.I thought it was just me. At least I know now that I'm somehow in the "right path". So....means I'm just doing fine & good after all. & with those plans laid  for me, I'm seeing a much bigger picture now. Pieces are falling together. It's like repeated confirmation from God that He really places me here & entrusted me with all this.Time to go back to His ministry with full heart. If not God gonna throw another "holiday" to me like last time. ^_^

Commit into Lord, persevere & EXPECT & BELIEVE breakthrough will happen.

A question which sparks all this....
"What is the desire of your heart & where do you think God calls you to ministry?"

I decided to put this up because I thought it other's might face the similar thing in serving & also as leader.. Just to encourage.