^^

Just some random update..
Off to Thai for Christmas & New Year

I miss you, Malaysia

What will you do when stress?

Who is Jesus Christ?

The greatest act of love in history....the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. Christians all know the story of the Gospel. The miracles, the journey, the parables...etc.

But who is exactly Jesus Christ to us?

Well I believe everyone has different personal names for God. Some call Him provider, some call Comforter, some call Healer, some call creator, some call best friend, some call with longer titles or names. So if we realize this the names tell us about revealed the character & personality of God. I wanted to share today that our God is a personal God. We can see it from his personal name as revealed to Moses on the Burning Bush. to better understand the identity of Jesus that died on the cross for each & every one of us, let's look into OT.

Exodus 3
Moses and the Burning Bush

Now Moses was tending the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian, and he led the flock to the far side of the desert and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. There the angel of the LORD appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up. So Moses thought, "I will go over and see this strange sight—why the bush does not burn up."

When the LORD saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, "Moses! Moses!"

And Moses said, "Here I am."

"Do not come any closer," God said. "Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground." Then he said, "I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob." At this, Moses hid his face, because he was afraid to look at God.

The LORD said, "I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey—the home of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites. And now the cry of the Israelites has reached me, and I have seen the way the Egyptians are oppressing them. So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt."

But Moses said to God, "Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?"

And God said, "I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain."

Moses said to God, "Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is his name?' Then what shall I tell them?"

God said to Moses, "I am who I am . This is what you are to say to the Israelites: 'I AM has sent me to you.' "

God also said to Moses, "Say to the Israelites, 'The LORD, the God of your fathers—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob—has sent me to you.' This is my name forever, the name by which I am to be remembered from generation to generation.

The LORD, translated from Yahweh, which is the covenantal & personal name of God, which means I AM [Yahweh / Jehovah is the Latin name)]. These are what the LORD did in the past, as a display of his great miracle & love.

He is the LORD that created heaven & earth.
He is the LORD that gave life to Adam & Eve.
He is the LORD that brought the great flood at the times of Noah.
He is the LORD that called Abraham out of Ur & established his covenant with his people.
He is the LORD that promises Isaac to Abraham & Sarah, & causes his descendents to be as numerous as starts in the sky.
He is the LORD God of Abraham, Isaac & Jacob, the God of Israel
He is the LORD that changed Joseph from sold slave into Egypt’s second to Pharaoh.
He is the LORD that brought the Israelites out of Egypt.
He is the LORD that parted the Red Sea, provided manna & quail to the Israelites during the exodus
He is the LORD that lead the people into the promised land, & destroyed the Wall of Jericho.
He is the LORD that drive out the Kenites, the Kenezzites, the Kadmonites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Rephaim, the Amorites, the Canaanites, the Girgashites, and the Jebusites for his chosen people.
He is the LORD that established the Kingdom of Israel through David & Solomon.
He is the LORD that rescued his people from the exile from Babylon & Assyria.
He is the LORD that spoke to the prophets about the coming of Messiah.
He is the LORD that never fails to fulfill his promises to his people
He is the LORD that knows each & every details of your life.
He is the LORD that is here right now.
He is the LORD God Almighty.
He is I AM.

Throughtout the Scriptures he has been given many names, by those who personally encountered him & tasted his power & love. These names also reveals his characters, that are personal to those who encountered him.

Jehovah Jireh – The Lord will Provide
Jehovah Rophe – The Lord who Heals
Jehovah Nissi – The Lord our Banner
Jehovah M’kaddesh – The Lord who Santifies
Jehovah Shalom – The Lord our Peace
Jehovah Tsidkenu – The Lord our Righteousness
Jehovah Rohi – The Lord our Shepherd
Jehovah Shammah – The Lord is There
Jehovah Sabaoth – The Lord of Hosts

These are the names that those people can identify with the attributes of the Lord. Perhaps you will have your own name of the lord.

& now the name of Jesus Christ.

Jesus himself declared he is the same I AM.

Exodus 20:2-5

I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God…..

The Jewish people at the time knows clearly the law that they will only worship Yahweh & no other God. But the disciples worshipped Jesus because they acknowledge that he is the LORD, & Jesus approves the worship. He accepts human worships.

In John 8 when the Jews were asking Jesus who he is, Jesus said "before Abraham was, I am!" He was claiming to be the LORD of their forefathers, the God of the covenant, the God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob. He claims to be the very same Yahweh. That’s why the people try to stone him.

In John 18 when the soldiers were trying to capture Jesus, he asked, "Whom do you seek?" They answered him, "Jesus of Nazareth." Jesus said to them, "I AM." When he said to them, "I AM," they drew back and fell to the ground. Again he asked them, "Whom do you seek?" And they said, "Jesus of Nazareth." Jesus answered, "I told you that I am he” The guards fell down because Jesus declared that He is the I AM, he is Yahweh, the LORD, the Messiah that the Jews had been waiting for more than 4000 years.

In Phil 2:5-11, Paul states that "bestowed on Him the name which is above every name." Yahweh is referred to as "the Name". To say that Jesus is above every name can only mean one thing to a Jew like Paul. Only one name is above every name and that is Yahweh. Therefore Paul recognized Jesus as Yahweh, the LORD.

So who exactly is Jesus Christ that is crucified?

Jesus is derived from Hebrew Joshua or Je-Hoshua which means JEHOVAH IS SALVATION. Jesus is the LORD. He is not just a Jesus Christ or the Jesus Christ. Let us all see Him as THE LORD Jesus Christ, the very personal name that our God revealed to his beloved people.

Jesus also declared other I AM's.
Jesus declared I AM the true vine.
Jesus declared I AM the bread of life.
Jesus declared I AM the good shepherd.
Jesus declared I AM the door of the sheep.
Jesus declared I AM the light of the world.
Jesus declared I AM the resurrection and the life.
Jesus declared I AM the way, the truth, and the life.

The creator of this universe dies for His beloved creation.
The life gave his life for you so that you will not die.
The truth become truth on the cross so you may not stay in deception.
The way show his way through the cross so that you will not be lost.
The light shines his light on the cross so that you see Him.
The shepherd paid the ultimate price for his sheep so that they find the door of salvation.

Jehovah Jireh – The Lord will Provide dies on the cross for you so that you will have all the provision you ever need in heaven.
Jehovah Rophe – The lord who Heals dies on the cross for you so that you will receive the healing through His broken body.
Jehovah Nissi – The Lord our Banner dies on the cross for you so that you will claim victory in life situation from His victorious crucifixion.
Jehovah M’kaddesh – The Lord who Sanctifies dies on the cross for you so that you will be cleansed through the blood of the Lamb.
Jehovah Shalom – The Lord our Peace dies on the cross for you so that you will receive peace above the understanding through faith in Him.
Jehovah Tsidkenu – The Lord our Righteousness dies on the cross for you so that you will be righteous & blameless from sin before God.
Jehovah Rohi – The Lord our Shepherd dies on the cross for you so that you will hear the voice of the Shepherd when He calls you by name.
Jehovah Shammah – The Lord is There dies on the cross for you so that you will find Holy Spirit there always in your mind & body & spirit.
Jehovah Sabaoth – The Lord of Hosts dies on the cross for you so that you will know the LORD has angels for you always.

I AM
I AM WHO I AM
I WILL BE WHO I WILL BE
JESUS
JEHOVAH IS SALVATION
YAHWEH

Recognize truly who our Lord Jesus Christ is. Although he is the almighty LORD, choose to die on the cross for you. For you, his beloved sons & daughter. He is your personal LORD. He is the Lord above all. & At the moments of crucifixion, the Lord who is above all, is thinking of you, above all that he is. I AM thinking of you, above all.

Above all powers, above all kings
Above all nature and all created things
Above all wisdom and all the ways of man
You were here before the world began

Above all kingdoms, above all thrones
Above all wonders the world has ever known
Above all wealth and treasures of the earth
There's no way to measure what you're worth

Crucified
Laid behind a stone
You lived to die
Rejected and alone
Like a rose
Trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me
Above all

Faith - truth or emotion?

I'm not sure where I heard this, one of the best way to see the relationship of Christian with God is their prayer language & worship expression. & I have this habit of observing how people pray & worship during services & meetings. I have to, for some individuals. That's where I can see how is the person doing (for a good motive). One thing that always amazes me is how much the emotions involved, or in another word, how people can get so emotional during prayer & worships.

Emotion is really a powerful force to increase the mood. & I do acknowledge the role of emotions with our relationship with God. Music is one key to stir up the emotions. But sometimes even me myself is too caught up by this "stirred atmosphere" that I lose the focus on real factor behind the emotion.

Truth >> Faith >> Emotion (TFE)

Our source of emotion should be a result of our faith (relationship with God), It shouldn't be from anointing of others or physical & spiritual atmosphere. Of course our faith is based on what the truth is to us. But I sense a danger of this new pattern which is.....

Emotion >> Faith >> Truth (EFT)

Emotions is building faith that in the end builds the "truth". What if we get emotional? Then an extra burst of faith? More sound truth? How about if the emotion is dry? No faith & the truth is dead? Both may
appear similar but it's very different.

I come out with this because of some "amazing" things that happened. I'd seen how individuals get so emotional during worship & prayer, a good sign for a Christian. However......

The very same mouth that praises God in worship is the very same mouth that curse God for things in life.
The very same mouth that blesses others in prayer is the very same mouth that creates tension & breaks the heart of others. The very same mouth that proclaims the Lord is the very same mouth that becomes a stumbling block.

What goes wrong here? Outwardly we can see the emotions of the person. Both TFE & EFT is the same in outward emotional expression. Both can produce equally great prayer language & worship expression. Emotional prayer language & worship expression can be done by those who do not
know the Lord personally as well.

The key to differentiate is where the source of F is, E or T? To identify the source of F, just eliminate all factors that can produce good atmosphere for E.

Try to pray & worship without powerful preaching.
Try to pray & worship without touching sharing.
Try to pray & worship without great musics.
Try to pray & worship in NEUTRAL emotion (bad emotions are also emotions that can stir up emotional prayer & worship, not only good emotions).

Can you still pray a powerful prayer?
Can you still worship with all your heart?

The only way to be able to pray & worship in ZERO EMOTION situation is when the faith is driven by the truth & not driven by emotion. In short, if the person knows the truth (knows God, & HAVE a relationship with God), he/she will not feel dry but will still able to pray & worship God because prayer & worship is your communication with God, not with the music, not with the preaching, not with the crowd, not with the congregation.

If you know the heartbeat of God, you can still pray without being stirred by preaching or sharing.
If you in awe & reverence & fear the Lord, you can still worship without music or emotional atmosphere.
If you KNOW THE LORD, the Holy Spirit will enable you to be emotional for Him in zero-emotion situation.
He will descent upon you during prayer, tuning your word according to His will.
He will be upon your worship, making it worship in spirit & truth.

Truth is God or "god"
Faith is our belief in the "truth"/God/"god" also can be said relationship with God
Emotion is the condition of our heart expressed physically, either genuine or acted out

Since God is the only Truth, faith based on truth will not go wrong.
Truth (God) >> Faith (belief based on God with relationship with Him) >> Emotion (genuine expression of heart through emotion)
No matter how bad the current situation in life is, no matter how bad your emotion is, because you know God, you know the truth (God), your outward expression & attitude will remain good in bad times.

However, faith based on emotion in which the emotion is based on worldly condition,
Emotion (expression based on fleshly condition) >> Faith (belief based on condition of the world, do not know God personally) >> Truth (created own version of 'god' in heart = idolatry)
The danger is here. EFT will have the tendency to alter the view of God in heart based on emotional condition. This is when Christians become godly Christians during great worship sessions or anointed
prayer meetings, able to pray like prophet & worship like lost in love. But curses, swears, hates, & blame God for bad emotion caused by bad condition, which will be channeled into outward physical
expression to other people around in form of bad actions.

Addition:
When I say good prayer & worship I don't mean the volume, the sound tone, the body movements or those things, Even those pray in normal volume or slow speech is strong if the words pierces according to he will of God. Even those worship in quietness & static posture is strong if the person is worshiping with right fear, reverence, respect to the Lord.

Conversation

Jesus, Lover of my soul,
Jesus, I will never let you go
You've taken me from the miry clay
You've set my feet upon the Rock, and now i know

I love you, I need you,
Though my world may fall, I'll never let you go
My Saviour, my closest friend,
I will worship you until the very end

Man: I feel so much pain now. In human flesh I'm struggling & enduring all these problems & persecution. But why wouldn't I just give up on You? Why I still endure all this for Your name? Why can't I just run away from Your calling? Why do I still persevere in You? Tell me!!! Why!!??

God: Because of love. Remember I told you that "I'm pleased with you"? It's because you love Me. You will never let Me go. I had picked you up from the dust. I had built you up & placed you here for all these. I see your heart. You need Me. Yes your world may fall, & yet you will remain in Me. I'm your Saviour & your closest friend. You will worship me until the very end.

Man: Yes Lord. I won't let you go no matter what. I will worship You until the very end.

Man: Don't You ever dare to let me go, Lord! I'm your beloved son! No... no You will not let me go! I will worship Your name only until the very end!

God: You will never leave Me. I will never let you go.

Man: I tell You LORD! You are my God & You will never leave me! Never! Your promises will come true! Your Words shall come to pass! I'm sorry for doubting You. I'm sorry for not trusting You. So don't You ever take Your presence away. I will chase after You. I will run after You! I wanted to see Your Glory!

God: You will never leave Me. I will never let you go.

Lantern of Love

Abba Father, I thank you dear LORD, for these group of people that you put in my life. They are really a great encouragement & refresher for me. Surely it's your amazing love that bonds us together. Bless them Lord. Be personal to them as your name is personal to me. Remind me to pray for them always. Cover them always in your embrace of love. Shower them with your amazing grace. Lead them with your mighty hand. May your presence go with them in their walk of righteousness in you. You are their God & they are your children. May they rely upon the Holy Spirit always. Let them be sensitive to hear your voice o Lord. May their life glorify your name. Let their mouth sing praises to you always. In all they do, let their conduct & attitude is in worship of you. I plead the blood of the Lamb upon their life. I pray against all plans of the enemy on them & they will take up their spiritual authority in Christ Jesus. Keep them safe in you Lord, & help them finish their race & fulfill their destiny that you had created for them to be. Let them be the people of God that shines forth before men.

In the loving name of our Lord Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.


With love.


Inspired to pray for you all.

11 rules your kids (our Malaysian university students) did not and will not learn in school (university)

Rule 1:
Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2:
The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3:
You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school (after graduation). You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4:
If you think your teacher (lecturer) is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5:
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6:
If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7:
Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8:
Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9:
Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off (semester break) and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10:
Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11:
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Google Own Name

I tried google-ing my own name & I found this pic out of random..in a blog of a friend of mine

From:
http://hocmun.blogspot.com/2007/07/chrono.html

Hoc Mun ah.... I never know he wrote about me as "Mr. Gaya Perkeb 2007"

Kinda miss the old days....

Try google your own name & see what you will find....

Touch

I used to believe in a boundary of physical touch between males & females. It's not about being open or close minded (refer to dictionary for actual definition of open minded & close minded if you don't get me). I just don't like the idea of touching here & there.

Sometimes a friendship touch between two different gender is very innocent & seriously there is no hidden message in it. & I do agree physical touch plays a role in relationship (GENERAL TERM) bonding. Some may say "C'mon it's nothing!". But I do know of certain individuals who are very sensitive to physical touches. Usually the touches reflects the level of intimacy between the two individuals & I do agree to it, but now I don't think so.

I'm seeing people who don't know each other really well/close but on physical contacts (note: I'm referring to male-female interactions) they appear intimate & close. There's also some who are real close but never made much physical contact. Now my question is this. 

"Is it NECESSARY to touch the opposite gender friend on regular basis (intentionally or unintentionally, innocently or with motives, whatever reason)?"

What I mention regular basis? Because I do acknowledge the significance & power (meaning) of touch in special cases like prayer, affirmation, etc. My "regular basis" simply means when there is no need to do so.

Physical touch seems to be a norm among people nowadays. It's very normal now that "girls" are allowed to touch "guys" but not in reverse. What I mean is when "girls" touch "guys", it's nothing. But when "guys" touch "girls", some may consider it as serious as sexual harassment, or at least "fei lai" or "pok mong". It seems to me that males are to blamed in a way if anything goes wrong. Many may fail to realize that certain individuals are touch-meaning-sensitive.

I used to read & hear people asking, "What is the boundaries of areas or body part that we are allowed to touch"? Some general textbook answer will be nothing below neck & waist. Sounds familiar? This issue of physical boundaries & intimacy is normally raised during courtship counseling or  those who desire to maintain purity before marriage. If some serious-want-to-marry couples take this issue of physical intimacy seriously, why those nothing more than a casual acquaintance behave like "we are bro & sis, yeah"?

Notice the use of girls & guys instead of males & females, & the previous paragraph. Get the point?

Again, 

"What is the boundaries of areas or body part that we are allowed to touch"?

This question sounds very wrong to me. First of all if your conscience & intention is clear enough, why do you need a guideline on this? Trying to find justification where can touch & why to touch?

But all this is significantly influenced by local culture & a person's upbringing. For example some girls are very sensitive & do not welcome a hand on their waist or shoulder, while some consider it nothing. So be careful who do you touch. Some may appear OK, but actually they do not like it. 

Physical touch may be a love language & should stay as real love language. Not some wanna-act-close-and-intimate. If the touch has no love (GENERAL TERM) in it as in closeness and intimacy (GENERAL TERM), it's just some bodily contacts.

Random post at midnight

I found a photo today that I thought I had lost it. It reminds me of her. It's the first picture I took with her, someone special to me. Don't get it wrong. She is just a special friend to me now. One of my first female close friend, a sister in Christ.

I looked kinda "budak bodoh" in the picture. Well it was five years ago when I'm still er....a Form 6 boy. Anyway it's my first time take a solo picture with a girl that time (really).

If you know I'm writing about you...... Somehow I hope you won't read this. But if you do, please pretend you didn't ok?

Thinking back about you, I still remember many many many things about the past, from the first day we met (almost six years already), up until today. All I wanted to say is really... thank you so much. Many things you never did it directly, or even realized but seriously you changed me a lot. Well it was actually because of you (you know I know la). One example? I learned my Mandarin because of you. Haha. You know the best thing? You played a major part in opening my heart to receive the Lord. 

Now all of us are busy with own life but I still remember you always. I never told you this before. I actually enjoyed your presence a lot. The weird things is, sometimes I prefer to talk less when I see you. Not that I don't want to talk, but it seems like when you are around, even in silence my worries & sadness are gone. It's like I like to see you more than to talk with you. Weird. That's why whenever we got gathering & you are around I tend to talk less. & that's why sometimes I bring you out without the rest.

Even after meeting so many new people, I still put you in my list of VVIP in my heart. Don't ask me why. I don't know. Yeah you are even in my top prayer list. So I guess that I do really cherish you as my friend. Thanks for being my friend, & appeared in my life.

To other readers: all this may sound "fishy" but IT'S NOT 

Dunno why I write this. Suddenly found the picture punya pasal lah.

PMM

I need Your Grace for this o Lord,

If this burden & passion is from you,

Give me another sign & confirmation,

Open the doors for me,

Provide me the manpower, resource & time,

Do not allow this fire to burn out.

Festive season

Festive season is when you don't talk with me 364 days in a year but that 1 particular day we become close.

Suddenly wishes flying  here there.
Suddenly gathering being organized.
Suddenly free meal feasting everywhere.

The spirit of 1 Malaysia.

Let food unites all Malaysians! Jom MAKAN!

Anyway ask those overseas Malaysian..what they miss the most  about Malaysia? It's always the FOOD.

Another lame story

Got this idea to write after watching some movies. Lolz.
But it's kinda true & applies to all groups, organizations, companies.

Imagine this scenario:

A student just came into a new martial arts school. He told the master that he wanna learn from him. He respected the master as the head of the school. The master saw good potential in the student & he told him that he wanted to teach the student, mentor & disciple him.

The master loved all his students but favor is another issue. The master favors students who show promising potentials. But that doesn't mean the master do not love the less potential students. The master gave equal chance to all students to prove themselves & sometimes deliberately test them without the students knowing it. Of course this one potential student passed all he tests & tasks, it pleases the master & he found favor in the master's eye.

But the master saw some problem with the student. Whenever the master tries to teach, the student always has his own styles & ideas. A little of those is OK. It can be used as base for improvement & creativity. Soon after the master realized it's not just a bit. The student is too full of his own thinking, idea & agenda that it's hard to train this student as he does not flow along with the teaching of the school anymore.

"If your cup is full with water, how can you expect me to fill it with oil for you? All the oils will be spilled out. If you still want me to fill your cup with oil, spill out all the waters in your cup first."

All the student managed to learn is the martial arts, not the principles & heart of it. Well if you all watched enough kung-fu films then you all can expect what will happen to the student. He got derailed from the path. He may acquire the martial arts skills from the master, but because his ways are different, he can no longer be used to further the development of the school.

"It's all about you ways, what you think, it's always your "I think", "I believe". When are you going to listen to our ways, our ideals, our plans?"

& then sure got interesting kung-fu fight in the end...negk ngek ngek

Moral of the story?...

Kuasa Wanita

Recently this term "Kuasa Wanita" came to my mind after a serious of display on how female voice can be 100x more effective in moving the heavy lazy butts of some males.

Examples:

A guy invited his housemate for badminton. But his housemate refuses. Then the guy decided to call one of the lady that is joining the badminton telling her that not enough people, & she asked to invite the guy's housemate. He told her that his housemate don't want & she asked him to pass the phone to her. After talking with his housemate for a while, she managed to get his housemate's heavy butt to move. Immediately he agrees to join, just because of "Kuasa Wanita", saying "long time never see her" because she is his ex-housemate. So means his current housemate has not enough "power" (because he is a male)?

A guy invited his junior for lunch & he did not accept. The guy's friend, a lady also invited his junior for the same time same lunch & the friend accepted the offer (the friend did not know that both of them planned the lunch together). The weird things is the friend did not accept the offer of his senior but accepts the offer of the lady, which he just knew very recently. "Kuasa Wanita" & the junior just got to know the lady when the senior is present together as well. So the recently just get to know lady has more "power" than his known longer & closer senior (because he is a male)?

There are many more but one point is true. Females are better in persuading males to move their lazy butt. Perhaps it's not even about persuasive power. I think it's more about female attractiveness not persuasiveness. I do not mean romance or love interest. It's simply the opposite gender power. Works more on guys.

Moral of the story:
If you want to move a guy's heavy butt, get a lady to do it.

Errr.....

Relationship doesn't happen naturally
Evangelism doesn't happen naturally
Nurturing doesn't happen naturally
Mentoring doesn't happen naturally
Discipleship doesn't happen naturally

It happens with intention
It happens with purpose
It happens with reason
It happens with action
It happens with plan

If it happens naturally,

Why is the Great Commission there?

And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, "All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." (Matthew 28:18-20)


How do you agree?

P&T

Every Timothy needs a Paul.

But every Paul also needs a Timothy.

Paul is glad for the previous released Timothys.

Paul is also grieved by previous lost Timothys.

So guess Paul will not successfully bring up a Timothy all the time.

Perhaps Paul should just give up this Timothy.

After all, pastor the unfaithful, disciple the faithful.

Paul wishes to disciple this faithful Timothy.

And not just pastor this Timothy.

But....

Maybe it's just Paul that want to take Timothy.

But Timothy doesn't want to.

So Paul, just let Timothy be for now.

A Shepherd's Heart

Children,
Passion,
People,
Reason

Personal,
Intentional,
Care,
Hope

Openness,
Communication,
Understanding,
Accountability

Faithfulness,
Availability,
Submissiveness,
Teachability

Encouraging,
Urging,
Instilling,
Growing

Embracing role as Malaysian Christian in prayer

There’s a purpose for each of us to be placed & born in such a time as this & in such a place as this. We are being sent forth by God to this nation at this time. We are watchman for God over this world. We are called to intercede for our community & nation. We are to be accountable before God over this nation & our community. We are to establish the kingship & reign of God in this world. We are to expand the kingdom of God now & here. This is our purpose as Malaysian Christian now & here.

We must embrace our role as Malaysian, & children of God that live in this age of modernization & globalization. 3 most prominent roles in the Bible are priests, prophets, & kings, & they pray! Although we are not officially priest, prophet & king, but we can have a priestly prayer, a prophetic prayer, & a kingly prayer. Prayer is equated to be oxygen to Christians. Prayer enables God to move in our life, through us.

A priest is someone who stands in the gap between human & God. Priest goes to God on behalf of men & goes to men on behalf of God. Being a priest means that you have to intercede for people. A priest also must have confidence & assurance that God hears & because of this a priest is to be set apart & sanctified for the work. God calls us to be His priests even at this time & place, to be set apart & sanctified, to have a heart for the people of Malaysia & intercede for them. Pray with intercession of a priest!

Exodus 19:6

You will be for me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.

1 Peter 2:9

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light.

A prophet is someone who calls the people to align themselves to the proclaimed word & will of God. Prophet is to proclaim the things of God to the people. Prophet speaks forth the will of God, & delivers the word of God into the situation of the people. Prophet can only do such things if he sees & understands the purpose & will of God. In the same way we must have the same prophetic vision from God for Malaysia, especially in end times where the Holy Spirit is being poured. Pray prophetically! Proclaim & speak forth!

1 Chronicles 12:32

...men of Issachar who understood the times and knew what Israel should do...

Luke 4:18-19

The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because He has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.

A king is given authority over things of the kingdom. King is always regarded as god’s agent in all cultures. King is to bring order, especially God’s order in the OT. A king is also accountable for his people & the situation in the nation, a steward of God in the nation. All authority in this world came from God, & God has given us the authority in Christ over the world & we are supposed to establish the Kingdom of God in our nation of Malaysia. We have a kingly role to play here for our King Jesus. Take up our spiritual authority! Pray in authority against the enemy!

Genesis 1:28

God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”

Revelation 5:10

You have made them to be a kingdom and priest to serve our God, and they will reign on the earth.

So as Christian living in Malaysia in this critical time, let us pray with heart of a priest to intercede for people, with vision of a prophet to proclaim for nation, & with authority of a king to reign for Christ.

My thanksgiving prayer

Abba Father in heaven, you are the LORD my God. You are also the lord of my passion, & the lord of my people. I thank you for your work & hand upon them. I wanna thank you for what you had done. I wanna thank you for the resource & skills & inner man that you gave me for all this. I thank you for you are leading me with your inspirations. I do not know how well I spoke of your words but it's not all about what I said. It's about the move & convictions of Holy Ghost. I thank you for the visions & signs that you had shown. I thank you for you confirmations & promises upon my ministry. Now I know o Lord, that it is not I who delivers, but it is by your leading. Now I know it is not me alone as human but I see your hand of partnership upon me now. Help me o Lord, to continue to motivate, to challenge, to inspire, to instill your words to them. Empower & anoint me more to speak forth life, blessings, wealth, health, into their lives. I recognize I'm your beloved servant sent here to fulfill your purpose. I put my trust in you, for you had called me to for this. All glory & praise to your Name, for you are their God, the great I AM, LORD. In the name of Christ Jesus, Amen.

Mat Rempit & Pizza Delivery Guys

I'm always impressed by those pizza delivery guys who rode their bike like madman rushing to see wife for last moment. Many times had I encountered they overtake me from left of my car to the right turn just immediate of me. Sometimes I wonder is the few minutes faster worth risking their life? What makes it worst is I saw some is actually on their way back to restaurant, not on the way to deliver the pizza. Will you manager scold you for returning late 1 minute? We always deliver criticism to "Mat Rempits" for their crazy dangerous bike ethics. But aren't those pizza delivery guys the same? So the difference is just because one is illegal nothing better to do bunch of unemployed low class people? & the other is a profession? 

So to those Mat Rempits, I suggest you all apply to be in pizza delivery line. Not only you get recognized for your talents, your get a better reputations as well. In case you died in accident, you died in honor of service, not dies in shame.

My message: Make use of all talents, no talent is bad or too wrong to exist in the world

Salt & Light

What exactly does Matthew 5:13-16 means to us? A point to ponder on...

What is our relationship with our community, that is we are suppose to shine out & add taste to the lives of people around us by good deeds. Remember our theme, "life on public display". We truly recognize that the world, our community has a higher standard of expectations towards Christians compared to others. People expect us to live up to our godly life standard & they are watching us in our daily conduct. I'm sure many of us encountered scenarios like....

"Christians also can do such thing ah?"
"I thought Christian cannot do this?"
"You are Christian? Then what are you doing?"
etc...
Ever wondered why?

 Just like goldfish in fish tank, we as children of God is under observation by the world & our life is on public display. Remember the spotlight is on us. 

If we love one another, the world sees. if we have issues with one another, the world sees. If we can't forgive one another, the world sees. If we help one another, the world sees. 

So why not we be the colorful fishes in aquarium, love one another, live in peace & harmony, build up one another, so that we attracts attention of others outside there watching? Let us be salt & light to our community.

The scriptures also emphasis on godly living, good deeds, & public display. Yes it is written in Romans 13:13 that our good deeds done for others is for all to see. We are to show what we are doing to others. How can our light be hidden? How can our saltines not tasted? Why is the purpose of doing good deeds even to community?

1 Peter 2:12 shows the answer. Maybe people around us may treat us with misunderstanding, or some persecution, but all in end even pagans will give glory to God because of our good deeds. It's true. I'd seen how prebelievers gave glory to God because of my good deeds to them, adding that Christians are real people for good without other intention, genuinely caring for others. May God be glorified through our good deeds to all others.

Side note: God also promises blessing on those who live a godly life among the peoples of the world (Psalms 1:1-3). Believe that our labor in the Lord is never in vain. Do not give up on our good deeds. The blessing of the Lord will be with us for our good deeds & love for our community.

Love our community. Let us be light that shines, salt that tastes. For all to see, that God will be glorified. Never give up doing good & live a godly life, for such is a blessed children of God. Remember the world is watching our actions. Then let us show them God.

Kawan

Some weird things I'd done with some people:

(million thanks to those people)

1)

Spending hours sitting together enjoying each other's presence in total silence without feeling awkward, doing own things but still take notice of what each other do, & acknowledge the presence of the other in silence. It just feels nice being in each others presence.

2)

Still continue listening & talking crap over the phone when there is no more "urgent" or "necessary" topic. May end up "eh...", "sigh..", "errrrhem..." over the long conversation which seems to be topic-less conversation without the intention to cut the call at all as long as credit balance permits.

3)

Siting together having a whole night 6 hours chat with repeated topics & points but it's ok, because what matters is we are "talking", not just talking. The content doesn't matter, as long as we "talk". & this continues for many times. I know you just need someone to "talk".

4)

Accompany you in car telling stories, crying, drop you off, & say "let's talk again tomorrow" when everything had been said in the car. I don't mind the same story repeats, the story may be the same every time, but the emotions aren't.

5)

Call up at random hours just to say hi, have some 10 minutes of pointless chat, & the other person never even asked me "Why call me?" or "What you want to say?". All I can hear is excitement, joy & laughter from you, not boring tone, suspicion, curiosity.

If I need a reason or topic to call you, to meet up, or to chat, I rather not at all.

A teacher & student

Story time!

There was once a teacher with many students. He cared & loved his students as his own family. However because of the nature of the school, people will come & people will go. Ever year he sees new batch of students coming in & some of them leaving him. It's fine. After all every meeting has a moment of separation. It was until one day a particular student came into his school. On the first class, the student became very friendly with this teacher, sticks to him, & the teacher sets his eye on this one student. He saw potential in this one. In his heart he wanted to develop this student to be someone great,  maybe someday may succeed him. He places his heart & hope on this student. This student found favor in the eye of the teacher. Not only that they became close friend & their relation grew. But after sometime, out of sudden their relation became sour. The teacher tried really hard to talk back to the student, to reconcile to this student. All he ever wanted is to have this close student back. It really broke the heart of the teacher seeing a student once close to him become like an alien to him now. They may see each other in class but there is no real communication there. Many times the teacher feel like just wanna give up on this student but the student keep on saying he is still his teacher & also friend. But the teacher don't feel so. He wanted a real friendship back with the student, not just an official relation because of status & obligation. The student still says he is the teacher & yet that's the end of it. Just words, no action & communication. Because of this incident the teacher starts to think he is not a good & worthy teacher even though other students look highly on him. Just because of one student the teacher was pulled down to himself. He can no longer teach effectively. Other students cared & loved him, but he still grieves because of one student that doesn't (anymore). Everyday the teacher tries to reconnect with the student but his effort was returned with coldness. The teacher was really confused. Is he still the teacher? Is he still the friend? Is he still someone personal? Is he still someone real? All this question starts to haunt he teacher & finally he decides to let the student go. All the hopes were shattered like a glass drop on ground. This was not the suitable person to bring up after all. Unless they both reconnects, nothing will improve. he teacher will just grieve more day by day because he really loved the student as a family, friend, someone matters.

Moral of the story:

1) If you wanna develop & maintain real & personal relation with someone, please do so with action & not mere words.

2) If you are no longer interested, please don't keep telling the other party of their significance & ends there with talks. Show it to the other party.

3) If you decide to highly favor a "student", make sure the student also highly favor you as a "teacher". One sided thing don't work out. & be prepared to get hurt it gets personal.

4) "Teacher-student" may not actually be real good friend all the time. It's either real-real relation or official-official relation.

5) Talking things out will ease the pain of everyone much better than trying to act noble "I don't wanna hurt you thats why I don't say out" etc.

10 traits of a (Christian) good leader

1) Emotion

A good leader must be able to express emotions at proper times & control at proper times. However should the leader is at weak moment, emotional breakdown, or fragile point, others will support, comfort & encourage the leader because they recognize the leaders emotion & feeling as genuinely of a human, & not a emotionless robot. The leader will not be judged or criticized as emotional or weak. Instead the expression of true self will be respected & honored. Emotion is a powerful key to drive human being.

[For God gave us emotion, that's what makes us human, in the image of God as He is emotional God]

2) Words & Actions

A good leader must be cautious as the word & action of the leader is "monitored & inspected" by others. The words spoken will be used either for or against the leader. The actions shown will be imitated either for good or bad. In short a leader will always be a "reference & quotation" for others even subconsciously. Good leader will see a reflection of their own words & actions in others. A leader must be a "role model" just like how a family head become the anchor to the family.

[We are suppose to reflect Christ in our daily conduct]

3) Authority

A good leader must be able to cast their vision, plans, & hopes in others. This is not influencing but leadership. A car cannot have two drivers so do a team cannot have two same authoritative figure. The leadership of a leader will not be questioned by others if they understand & accepts the leader's viewpoint, ways of doing things, & the reason the leader is place above them. They will submit to the leadership with willingness knowing the good & purpose for it. The authority of the leader will be respected.

[Do you know why Aaron's staff is inside the Ark of Covenant?]

4) Relationship

A good leader must also be someone close or personal to others, or at least have a relationship with them. No commander can win a war without knowing the army under the command. Likewise no leader can move a team forward if then leader do not know the people. The leader must be a person of worth or "somebody" of significance to them. No husband will sacrifice for the wife he do not loves, & no mercenary soldier will die for a nation that is not their motherland. To effectively drive the whole team forward others must be willing to help out & work for the leader because of sense of worth & significance.

[That's why Christianity is never a religion, it's a relationship]

5) Potential

A good leader must see the potentials of others. A good leader will always encourage & empower the people, giving them chance to grow & learn, equipping them with courage & skills. The worst mistake of a leader in potential development is interference in their development thinking they need more guide. Give them room & space to develop their own potential. Freedom to hunt for a prey will build a predator more than chaining it & leading it to the prey. A good leader will always release the people into service, because leaders build leaders, not build followers.

[See how Jesus empowers His disciples & sending them during the Great Commission?]

6) Decision

A good leader will take into consideration the opinion & abilities of the people. However this does not mean the leader must be influenced. The authority is still with the leader & therefore the decisions will always & should be for better good even if it costs hurt & disagreement & trouble for some of the people. A measure of a good leader is they will understand the decision & still have faith in the leader, trusting the leader will not "show them to their grave", just like how to trust a plane flying through bad storms.

[Look at how God send Abraham]

7) Accountability

A good leader will not be a standalone leader. The leader will have others to counsel & discuss, better if accountable to another leader above, or some other same figures. In fact the best leader is a leader accountable not only to above, but below. The leader who explains the reason & purpose to you is a leader who cares for you & wanted to hear your opinion. How to trust a person who never tells you anything? How to work for a boss who never tells me the plan & logic? The same principle applies here. 

[Why Holy Spirit reveals things of God to believers?]

8) Accessibility

A good leader must be accessible for the people. Take example of workaholic parents that neglects their children. Unaccessible parents are just financial provider, not "Daddy" & "Mommy". The parents never know what their children wanted, only thinking they need this & that to survive & grow. Likewise a good leader is a leader who listens to others, make effort & time to hear the voices of people. Leaders are to lead others, not themselves. A leader that is too busy for others is a leader that is too busy to lead.

[Is God too busy for His people?]

9) Realistic & Practical

A good leader must be realistic in conduct & work. While it is good to have ideals about what is the best, we live in a real world where fairy takes do not exist. The issues around in the world is real. Being over ambitious is a sign of lack of awareness of what is happening. A "blind" leader will never able to lead the whole group to walk. A leader that only sees the sky above will fall into a hole. The leader should look straight in front, seeing both the destination & also obstacles on the way.

[Our LORD is a God of the supernatural (miracles), & also the NATURALS (creation)]

10) Servant Leader

A good leader will consider others at all times. That's the reason to lead. To serve others. This is the real challenge. Will you still serve when there is no acknowledgement? Will you still serve when there is no encouragement? Will you still serve when there is no provision? Will you still serve when there is no appreciation? Will you still serve when there is no acceptance? If yes, then all these will be added into you. Only when you are willing to be a servant that you will have all these.

[Jesus came as a servant]

Love (chinese)

I tried to write a post in BM last time, & now I wanna try Chinese haha... anyway I'm still banana...so any mistakes please forgive me & do tell me to improve OK? Don't laugh a the Chinese harrr...

To people around me, family, friend, "someone".....
I may not like you at times, but I do love you (all)...

有时候我不喜欢你
Sometimes I do not like you
因为你不理解我的做法
Because you do not understand my way of doing things
但是我选择体谅你的想法
But I decide to show understanding to your opinion
因为我爱你
Because I loved you
就算我们个人看法不一样
Eventhough our individual way of looking at things is not the same

有时候我不喜欢你
Sometimes I do not like you 
因为你误会我的意义
Because you misunderstand my meaning
但是我选择接受你的意思
But I decide to accept your idea
因为我爱你
Because I loved you
就算我们偶尔意见不一样
Eventhough sometimes our opinion is not the same

有时候我不喜欢你
Sometimes I do not like you  
因为你不关心我的情况
Because you do not show care to my situation
但是我选择关怀你的情绪
But I decide to show concern to your feeling
因为我爱你
Because I loved you
就算我们关乎的事不一样
Eventhough our matters of concern is not the same

有时候我不喜欢你
Sometimes I do not like you
因为你不尊敬我的智力
Because you do not respect my intellect
但是我选择尊重你的智慧
But I decide to respect your wisdom
因为我爱你
Because I loved you
就算我们有的知识不一样
Eventhough we possessed knowledge which is not the same

有时候我不喜欢你
Sometimes I do not like you 
因为你不珍视我的一些
Because you do not cherish my certain things
但是我选择欣赏你的一切
But I decide to appreciate your everything
因为我爱你
Because I loved you
就算我们一定一点不一样
Eventhough we for sure something are not the same

有时候我不喜欢你
Sometimes I do not like you
因为你觉得我不可信赖
Because you feel that I cannot be trusted
但是我选择决定你可依赖
But I decide to resolve that you can be relied upon
因为我爱你
Because I loved you
就算我们绝对会有不一样
Eventhough we are absolutely not the same

爱是当你能选择爱虽然有你不喜欢的差别
Love is when you are able to decide to love although there are differences which you do not like
因为爱是一个选择
Because love is a decision

Not only in courtship or romance or marriage, but FAMILY & FRIENDS as well. Who said I can't love my family & friends?

Inspired by some peoples.....especially a special friend of mine & an interview of a married couple, & two sermons

Count your blessings

Sometimes I wonder that my life actually is really a blessed life, unlike some other friends of mine, that they had issues in life. Should I count my blessings? Here's a simple checklist for myself.

Self::
Physical disabilities? No (wear specs do not count k)
Genetic defects? No (other than botak which I count as a blessing haha)
Health problems? Nothing serious that I know of
Looks? I got no problem with how I look....I'm HANDSOME in heart
Intelligence? As long as I'm not dumb is ok ^^


Family:
Divorced parents? They both are still very loving :p
Sibling rivalry? Me & my bro getting along well
Traumatic death in family? Nope...those deaths are normal & predictable

Some hidden past or whatsoever? Don't think so...
Bad relationship? I'm good with all (that matters to me)

Friends:
Hurtful betrayal? Not really, I'm a lovable friend
Rejected? Again... no
Negative influence? I'm wise in friend choice :p
Attachment issues? Nope... I can live on
No real friends (heart to heart)? I have I have!

Courtship & sexuality:
Problems loving? Not at all
Rejections? Ya, but I'm happy over it :p
Sexual immorality? Duh....never.....
Abnormal preference? What the????
Gender/sexuality problem? Never...I'm a normal healthy straight male...

Misc:
Finance? I'm quite happy & blessed
Criminal record? I'm clean
Sexual abuse/raped/molested? I'm still pure & virgin =.="

Communication problem? Not much...just frequency difference
Suicidal intention before? I'm way too alive

etc....

I don't really experience all this problems that some of my friends faced. So sometimes I don;t really know how to give advice to people. I can't really understand how they feel. All I can is understand them, & feel what they feel. Sometimes I felt "Am I in any position to advice or guide them?"... I do not know. There are times I felt that this or that person had went through such experience....while me? Nothing.

So what is God's purpose putting me in midst of people who have all this issues in life?


Even my testimony of how I met Christ (or actually...reversed) is so simple that I felt it's not impactful enough. But sometime ago God rebuked me...haha. Testimony is a true story. Not a magical fairy tales with exciting adventure. & then I realized I accepted God because of truth, not because of miracles. Like how people always say, chase after the healer not the healing, the creator not the creation, the source not the signs. God is God because He is God, not because of miracles. I don't need a parted sea, pillar of cloud and fire, raising of dead or feeding of thousands to remind me who is God.

God also reminded me to actually count my blessings, don't compare lives. There is no point dwelling on the past issues, as God wants us to see the blessings, not the "curses". So perhaps, all I can tell others is... "look....your life may have xxx or yyy problems, but someday God can turn it into blessings just like how I experienced it in my life". Actually if I were to say my life is problem free it's a lie. But i decided to put the problems aside on just look at how blessed I am. That's all that matters.

"Your problems may be bigger than mine, but it will never be bigger than God who can bring even bigger blessing into your life. Look unto the truth & not the circumstances & the truth will set you free from these circumstances"

The reason for blogging

Wow...again I took a very long off from blogs... kinda lost motivations nowadays to blog... the reason?

Why I lost the passion to blog?
I think it's better to view it why I blog in the first place...

There's many types of blogs (my own classifications)

Some are like diaries, some like travel guide, some like conteng-conteng page, etc.For me my blog is where I express things where it's not suitable/offensive/embarrassing/whatsoever to be said either face to face, or has no specific target audience, just sharing what's deep in my heart. Put it simple, it's where I say things honestly.

Well that makes myself vulnerable to attacks made based on what I write. People can just shoot me based on what I say here. That's the reason I lost the passion to blog. Please stop being an asshole by trying to show how great you are by lowering me. I have NO RESPECT for people who do not know how to respect their friend.

Some adults are right. Many "young adults" are still kids....do not know how to respect people...

Anyway I still will once a while write some craps.... :p

A small service at Kampar

Just yesterday I went to Kampar with Ps.Chan to visit Ps.Nicky. The new church in Kampar is just being planted recently. They started their service recently also. The service & church looks very simple, small. Even the congregation is few. Yet there is something there that really amazed me. Because it's small & new, the students get to do all the jobs, service director, worship leader, technical, etc. They are new, learning & committed (that's what I see). Sometimes I just wonder, how come some people who are "long time" with God still do not wanna take up the challenge & calling to serve God, even in the simplest way, even in a big church where everything is so easy to do & convenient. Are we getting too full of "everyday busy life" that serving God can be done by others who are more free? This somehow speaks to me that once in a while we must throw back the people to their basics & foundations, especially their "first love".

Because it's a small service with just a few (can count by hand) congregations, Ps.Chan decided to lay hand & pray for each & everyone, & lay some prophetic words on them. Well at first only 2 came forward, but after seeing the sweet presence of spirit of God there, more & more came forward.This speaks to me TWO things. Firstly, why must we follow after some other people, watch what happens to them, & only take our steps of faith? Why can't we be the pioneer, the first? If the one we watched failed, are we gonna step back? Move forward.

Secondly, why normally people sought after special speaker's altar call & prayers, feeling that their anointing is very strong, while we don't really look upon our very own church pastors? One of the girl asked Ps.Chan why he knows all her problems when he lay hand on her & prophesies on her? It's simple. The Holy Spirit reveals things. God loves her, & God knows her. That's what makes people normally cry when some speaker who do not know them, can tell their struggles & problems, because they see the power & love of God through the speakers. Imagine your home church pastor laying hand on you, & prophesy on you or telling your life struggle, surely you might think "Of course la...he knows me what..." or "Sure someone go tell him my things one". Are we still like Old Testament Jews who chase after prophets with signs & wonders? Or are we chasing after Jesus Himself  through man of God, our leaders, & The Holy Spirit? How much do we respect, appreciate, believe our God appointed leader & pastors?

I really thank God for this period of times where many leaders approaches me. I learned much more from them as they are experienced people, & they know much more. They had seen the world, had served, & therefore understands what I 'm going through. Their words speaks to me. Even if they don't speak, their presence, care, encouragements to me really lifts me up.

Presence in Silence

What is friend for? One of the common answer is "be there for you". I strongly agree in this.

(all this is based on what I think ok? haha)

When a friend finds me or ask for my "counsel & advice" I always have the idea of instead talking so much  I make them speak more so that I can lengthen the sharing time. For me it's not all about the suggestions or words that I said. It's more to the time & presence for being with him/her at those moments. The actual fact is people already have the answers in their heart. What they want is support & company from friend. Example, when X finds me for sharing his problems, he already know his situation the best. All I can say is based on my experience & standing on this matter. I'm not even in his situation. Am I really qualified to speak for him? NO!. For me it's more about me knowing he is in something, he is facing something, he has something in his mind. My presence with him that matters, just to be there with him. At least someone acknowledge his issue.

Other people's words won't really change a person's decision. It just either encourages or discourages the decision. I do really agree with someone who shares this with me "flip a coin, & before you grab the coin, whatever your hearts want it to be tail or head, that's the desire of your heart, no need to look a the result of the coin". Most of the time people just wanna seek for approval & supports.

It's not really about words spoken. Instead sometimes I found out that during such sessions, there's a need to remain silent once a while to stop talking, & just be still. I found the best moment after all the talking is just be there with him/her...in silence. I'd experienced it. The quality time spent together in silence acknowledging each others presence. Sitting together in car not talking but radio on, or watch midnight sky, or stars, or watching cars travel left right on main road, or just silence in classroom looking at each other smiling without words spoken, or a pat on shoulder & nothing else after that, etc. It creates a better effect than fully talking about the issue.

Remain silent with each other after talking, take time to just rest & don't dwell in the issue. What matters is that friend is there with you. The action & love of a friend speaks even better to comfort the person than words of advice. Just spend time, for time is a irreplaceable asset for anyone, most valuable of all things that I can share with others. This is love.

Isn't it the same with God? How to treat God as best friend?

I found out also that instead of telling God & complaining to Him all my issues, I should just rest in silence with His presence. I do not to speak so much, He already knows what I'm facing. He cares for me, this I know. He loves me, also I know. By knowing all this, it's better to just let His love comfort me instead of releasing all things hoping for some "revelations" to comfort me.

Instead of waiting for some vision or dream or voice to tell me what should I do, I should focus on the Truth that He is Immanuel. I never get any specific "what-to-do-guide" from God but I only get His promises reminding me of His faithfulness & love to me. Which is better? A one time solution for a problem, or an everlasting eternal presence of the Almighty One? The next time I approach God I will come with heart to just be in His presence in silence, not with the intention to carry "petition of requests & complains" to Him.

You picked me up when I fall

Related to my previous post....


Last week, I signed up & commit myself to a 1 week prayer. At first I was thinking..."Can I really pray 2 hours continuously?". & In the end I did, 2 hours was easy when I really learned to delight in His presence. I do not know if I can try again but for me, when the "prayer atmosphere" is good I really have n problem in prolonged prayers. I sense that God wanna deliver something to me thru this week of prayer also & I told God I WANNA SEE something happen by the end of the prayer week. I expect something to happen to me.

Halfway I start to have some funny frustrations, disappointments, etc (refer to my previous blog). Then one of my friend reminded me one things which she told me last time that she sees character & charisma in me, that God will be with me in leading. She reminded me out of sudden just before I meet my pastor. She said Holy Spirit tells her to let me know. How could I forget that last time? Haha...thanks for the reminder. After my reflection, my pastor called me to accompany him for prayer. I went & he shared things which really hits me & answers all my previous blog post "reflections". It was when all those got cleared.

His sharing really lifted me up & I know actually my leaders take notice on me & what I did. Maybe being human, recognition & acknowledgment really encourages me even a very simple one. We talked about openness, expectation, frustration, hope & some other stuffs.I thought it was just me. At least I know now that I'm somehow in the "right path". So....means I'm just doing fine & good after all. & with those plans laid  for me, I'm seeing a much bigger picture now. Pieces are falling together. It's like repeated confirmation from God that He really places me here & entrusted me with all this.Time to go back to His ministry with full heart. If not God gonna throw another "holiday" to me like last time. ^_^

Commit into Lord, persevere & EXPECT & BELIEVE breakthrough will happen.

A question which sparks all this....
"What is the desire of your heart & where do you think God calls you to ministry?"

I decided to put this up because I thought it other's might face the similar thing in serving & also as leader.. Just to encourage.

A not so good too soft leader's voice

A random thought

It's almost half year since I'd taken up this new position of being a CG leader. Before this God told me that I can do it So I just accept it, with heart for improvement & changes in the CG. Now thinkin back, I wonder how well I did so far....did I disappoint anyone?

Honestly, I'm think I'm not doing that good. Somehow my approach is more one-to-one, rather than a group as a whole.Do they even look me as their leader (or at least senior)? Or look at me as a trusted friend? I believe it's important to be both. But somehow I sucked at being a respected leader. I'm really thankful for those who is willing to open up to me, sharing their stories, ideas, thoughts, struggles.Being honest, it's very hard to minister to people as CG leader in church. I'm still not good at this yet. I wonder how many percents of my advises really hit them or they understand. 100%? 80%? 50%? 10%? 0%? I guess I'm just good at being a super kind friend who comes one-to-one style.

I even wonder am I wise or good enough to comment & advice. If yes, how come I got this feeling? If no, how come people come consult me & ask for my opinion? Of course there are MANY times I felt disrespected, taken for granted, misunderstood, etc. I wonder other leaders face the similar problem or not. Or it's just me being too kind & soft? Am I even a good leader material? Did I even impact people? Can I even say "follow  my example" to others? So many questions that I need some honest feedback from people.

But the situation is opposite & reverse for non-Christian group settings. Why is this happening?

Being a human I do expect some return of the portion of my kindness to others. But experience tells me non-Christians are much better at appreciating people & expressing gratitude. I'm actually saddened by this. Perhaps I shouldn't even expect something at all. The funny thing is those who I expect to return kindness do not do so, while those who I never expect, did very well.

Seriously I had this funny idea, if I would die, & I get to listen to what my friends testify about me, I would expect respect & honors & tears from my non-Christian friends much more than Christian friends. I can't help it, based on what I'm experiencing now.

Is this what I always term as "Christians are too full of grace that they forget the significance of the Law?"

I even wonder why am I being bothered by this. Tired & wanna give up because no motivation & encouragement from others? I do get some testimonies & truthful acknowledgment from non-Christian friends & those really lifts me up. I wonder will I get some spiritual version of it? yea...in the past got la... & it's from my leaders & seniors & those in my "years"... I wonder is it the juniors & younger view me differently?

Anyway since God put me in this, & he told me with confirmation I can do it, I have to trust in Him that I can do it. I used to almost give up serving Him at a point that God had to put me in a holiday to refresh me & remind me of how important my service to Him.

So based on the current situations & what I see, I'm still not yet a good spiritual leader (or at least in group setting) but I'm doing fine & well as secular leader. Swt!!! What a sad case. Oh God! Please shape me & mold me even more. Do not allow all this to discourage me.

Perhaps.....???

All the broken pieces of your life is nothing more than a beautiful mosaic of your future.

 

I wanna clarify something: I'm not emo-ing ok? I'm just doing reflection. Haihz...